16 Comments

"Butter Ball" 😆

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OK crossing NC off my list now. Maybe a city in Maine? Vermont? Still cold there, but at least more urbane and less hicky-hick.

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I didn’t mean to cast aspersions on NC; it really is a pleasant place. It’s just not my cuppa chai.

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Great piece! I wonder if you noticed any of the confederate flag/Trumpism when you were in Ann Arbor? You wouldn't have to drive too far west toward Jackson to find lots of trucks with big Trump flags and houses displaying confederate flags. Same here in mid-Michigan where I currently live.

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I was in Ann Arbor from 2006-2008. Trump was just an unpleasant denizen of NYC then.

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Aha, right! And you thought you'd escaped him!

I bet the confederate flags were around Ann Arbor's exurbs though. We only got here in 2011, and they were certainly noticeable on bike rides in the countryside. Michigan has a big connection to the South.

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The cost of living in NC is quite attractive. You will find your people, your community. Enjoy.

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There’s no question it was an economically good move. But if I made my life decisions based on money, I’d have a lot more of it.

And I’m staying for the next couple of years at least.

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May 22·edited May 22Liked by C.L. Steiner

I moved from Michigan (lived in three towns close to Ann Arbor) to North Carolina 25 years ago. Michigan is a beautiful state with too long and cold, depressingly overcast winters. I live in Cary now, which is just outside of Raleigh. I love the southern hospitality and laid-back pace here. Although there are tons of northern transplants in Cary now. I only know two people who actually grew up in Cary.

I like visiting New York City. My daughter and family live in Manhattan. It is exciting to visit, and the food! But there are way too many people for me. A couple of days is enough for me to start missing open spaces, greenery, and walking down the sidewalk without dodging people. But wherever you grow up, it is always home.

I think in any state, the more rural it gets, the more Trumpish it gets.

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May 22Liked by C.L. Steiner

I really enjoyed this piece! Raeford's barbershop was Norton's when I was there in the late 80s - THE place for a haircut. And conversation, of course. Loved the stereotyped photo of the NC family - an unfortunate reality (in some ways), especially the further West you move. It reminded me of the first time (as a NC native) I experienced the stereotype: I was at an interview weekend for a scholarship to UNC Chapel Hill my senior year of high school and sharing a hotel room with a kid from ... NYC who, when talking with his brother on the phone, said: 'My roommate's from NC. No, he doesn't smell like shit.' When he got off the phone, I told him I was certainly pleased that I didn't - I'd worked hard scraping it all off!

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Thanks, Bryan — I was hoping you’d comment. It’s a real mix here!

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There are so many ways to think about this, but as an immigrant who moved a few times, I’d say, listen to your heart and move to where you feel more at ease, if you don’t feel at home. In some ways external is noise, but there is something to say about the people around you and how much on the same plane they are as you, above and beyond immediate family. For example, Gainesville, FL where I went to school is a nice place, but the DC area is more diverse and accepting of different traditions and cultures, and that overall makes a difference as it affects the people you meet, the food you get, the events you can access, etc. I think of having 2 homes—my birth home and my home in this area:) You could toggle between NY and NC for family:) Thanks for sharing! I enjoyed reading it even as I empathize with what you are going through. The answer will emerge from the Self.

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Thanks for your perspective, Anu. My ancestors (both recent and ancient) moved a lot, and my spiritual forebears did too. Learning to be content in all circumstances is part of the path, so there’s that. Fortunately we live in a time when communication at a distance has never been easier, so I can always find my people when we need each other.

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I’m a Bronx boy and cannot imagine moving south so I have a lot of empathy for you and I am impressed with your bravery. I would love to be a paid subscriber, but the problem I’m running into is that there are too many places where I want to be a paid subscriber and at my age, and now on a fixed income, I just can’t afford it at least I can’t afford it right now and in the near future that may change so either way you will hear from me and I can make a promise that I will become a paid subscriber.

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Thank you, Allan. I’m glad you’re here, paid or not, and I hope you continue to enjoy my work. Keep coming back!

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You can be sure I will keep coming back

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